secrets

“Secrets have power. And that power diminishes when they are shared, so they are best kept and kept well. Sharing secrets, real secrets, important ones, with even one other person, will change them. Writing them down is worse, because who can tell how many eyes might see them inscribed on paper, no matter how careful you might be with it. So it’s really best to keep your secrets when you have them, for their own good, as well as yours.”

― Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus

germaine

some things i nodded to
some things made me sorrowfully shake my head
but mostly i believe i scraped through
relatively unscathed

my best friend in school; we would sit on each others’ knees waiting for assembly
some boy once called us dykes but i didn’t know
what that would mean, until much later

i knew that i could not be a mother at 20
unlike my mother who [i’m assuming in 1959]

had no choice.

i think that’s when things may have started to go wrong for her
that fucking Freud & his devotees
the problem lies not with women but society

when i realised what the problem was i felt better
relieved; i felt
that all the tree climbing & wearing black t-shirts
& square boots
all the scribbling in secret books
& the way i used sex to land my first real job

haha the joke could have been on me
but it was not.

written whilst reading ‘The Female Eunuch’.